3 Bar Ranch-Cattle Callin'

Hank3's four album drop on September 6th promised to bring us a new country record, a doom record, and a speed metal record. 3 Bar Ranch Cattle Callin is the speed metal album. But, after listening to it, I'm not sure that speed metal is the correct term. Is it fast? Yes. Is it loud? Yes. Does it annoy those who don't get Hank3? Yes. So, I guess speed metal is as close a known genre as your going to get from this release. In reality, though, it's exactly what you would expect from Hank3. Something entirely different from anything you've ever heard.

The main premise of this album is that it is supposed to be metal music paired with cattle auctioneering laid over top of the music. And that's exactly what this is. In fact, every single song features an auctioneer. So much so that by the midway point in the album you would do anything to make the auctioneers shut up. It's annoying. Really annoying.

When the album begins with opener "Black Cow" you may think that this is kind of an interesting concept. And it is until songs start repeating. That's right, some songs are on the album more than once. And the only difference? That some of them have Hank3 screaming some unintelligible stuff over the auctioneers. Don't get me wrong, this album does have it's moments. In fact, the music on many of the songs is downright awesome. If this album were to be released as a metal album with standard vocals I would probably be hailing this as a masterpiece right now. "Mad Cow", with it's black metal musical styling is probably the best musical piece on the album. But, the fact is that the cattle auctioneering pretty well ruins the album. Once the novelty wears off and you realize that you still have 16 songs left to go on this 23 song album you probably will just turn it off. This album was a nice idea that, in the end, just doesn't work.

2/5

1. Black Cow
2. Now There's A Bull
3. 37 Heffers
4. Mad Cow
5. Branded
6. Square Bailor
7. Cuttin' Hay
8. Y Bar Ranch
9. Countin' Cows
10. Mad Cow
11. Lot 53
12. Cow Sold
13. Cow Mortal
14. Bull Balls
15. Heavy Cattle
16. Y Bar Ranch
17. Black Cow
18. Longhorn
19. Square Bailor
20. Moo You
21. Angus of Death
22. Cattle Callin' Lonesome Blues
23. Branded